Defocation + Modeling =Defomodeling

Seriously, how long are underweight girls going to do this broken bird, scoliosis, poop shoot, tummy ache, pelvic thrust, vomit inducing model pose? I mean really...is it done yet. If I was an agent and someone had a pose in their portfolio that looked like this, I would set it on fire.

Obviously, I am not a model. If I did this pose I would certainly look like I was bloated with bad posture. Actually, I am bloated with bad posture, but that's a story for another day. Just please, models of the world , stop the Defomodeling now. Vogue doesn't want your skeleton dropping a duece on their magazine cover. I'm just saying ..........

Horror Beards Are All the Rage.

If you are planning to kill someone, please ensure that your sweet ass wet beard is intact. I saw Halloween 2 (I refuse to call it H2...btw) this weekend. To my delight, Michael has been living in the woods for the past year and now rocks a magnificent neck beard. The entire movie people keep mistaking him for a 7 foot bum. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The movie itself was full of wonder as well. We are huge Rob Zombie directorial fans, but this gem was so dark and dismal and great. When I watch Zombie's movies I find many similarities to my photographic style. When I have said that to friends and family, they seem shocked and appaled. Have they never met me? Gore sells! The way the streetlights are always over exposed and the framing of each scene...magical. There are a few snore scenes and some unneccessary gore, but all in all a must see summer movie. And...of course it came out in theaters on my birthday.

If you haven't seen this already, you should go RIGHT NOW.

My stomach hurts and I have to go paint my nails, so I can be pretty for work.

Happy Trails

Heather

Captain's Log Post Birthday

Should I type something here?

It's amazing how much time I have not spent creating a blog. I am much funnier in person, and am sure I will dissappoint with my paltry writing ability. I decided this would be the year I jump in and make this happen. Please know up front that I love run on sentances...I use too many ellipses...and I say "jam on" like 100 times a day. I like to speak using text lingo to be the most obnoxious person alive. I also can do the hammer better than anyone you have ever met. As you now have read, you can see I have a bunch of random skills that keep me poor, but entertained.

I live in Tampa with my husband Tim and our 2 kids (Gray and Addison). They are packed full of whack and wierd. I'm sure you will read many stories of our family woes, accomplishments, and the many magical moments that make my family so unique.

I have no idea what I plan to use this blog for...daily life stories, music reviews, vegan recipe mishaps and trimuphs, and my quest to always see details that others fail to recognize.

Please keep your arms inside the vehicle at all times....enjoy the ride.